You are my submissive, right? Yes. That means you will always do what I say. You have agreed never to say no to me. OK, she said. Submission that draws a line and says no further isn’t really submission at all, I said. What I want is your total capitulation. But there are some things I just can’t do, she wailed. No, I said; there are some things you think you can’t do. Or things you don’t want to do. But if I want them you will do them. That’s what submission is all about. It’s about giving in, not about negotiating.
…
I will hurt you (and I’m going to hurt you more in a minute), I will never harm you. I won’t make you do anything that will damage you, physically or mentally. But that’s all the guarantee you will ever get. If you can’t trust me, don’t submit.
In a nutshell, this is a wonderful explanation of why I don’t have hard limits and I don’t have a safe word with Mr. Hatton. I trust him. I submit to him with faith that he will not injure me or push me beyond where I am capable of going. I trust him completely to make choices that are in both of our best interests, even if they sometimes make me uncomfortable, embarrassed or make me squirm.
I agree wholeheartedly with what Discerning Dom said, submission that draws a line and says no further isn’t really submission at all.
yeah….no. lol. this is why i categorize what i’m into as baby bdsm. what’s described above is on another level where you obviously have to trust your dom utterly and they have to know you inside and out. i don’t trust no one like that. telling me i can’t have boundaries? sheeeet, i think not. miss me with that.
there is no biological point at which a person loses their virginity. it doesn’t work like that. everyone has a different moment that they think “counts” because virginity is a social construct- most people have a series of increasingly intimate sexual experiences, not one life-changing moment. you learn a lot from the first time you give or recieve head, too.
who’s the “real” virgin:
a man who’s given a girl anal sex but not vaginal
or a man who’s received anal sex from another man?
who’s the “real” virgin?:
a girl who’s comfortable with herself sexually, understands her own pleasure and her partners’, has had many sexual experiences for five years (giving and receiving head, been fingered/has given handjobs/fingered other people) but has never had a penis in her vagina
or a girl who has been with one boy for a month, tried to have sex with him but it hurt too much so she asked him to pull out after only four or five thrusts?
or here:
a woman who’s had penetrative sex once
or a woman who’s had mutually fulfilling sexual experiences for decades, understands her own pleasure and her partners’, masturbates regularly but has never been penetrated by a penis because she’s a lesbian who likes oral?
thoughts:
if a dildo counts for the lesbian, how come penetrative masturbation doesn’t count for the straight girl?
if anal counts for a man giving it and and a man receiving it, how come if doesn’t count for a girl receiving it?
what matters about virginity besides that it’s a new experience, if being sexually active has already been achieved? why don’t we talk about first time getting head the same way?
if the space between the clit and the vagina is less than an inch, it’s easier for females to orgasm through penetrative sex, but if the space between the clit and the vagina is longer than one inch, it’s very hard for a female to achieve orgasm through penetrative sex.
Thought I would share that cause for some reason I find that extremely fascinating
i like this because that means people are learning on their own… and it is also a true fact.
i contracted herpes about 9 months ago from a guy i was casually seeing, who didn’t know he had it. my top surgery also got canceled that weekend, and i immediately went suicidal. 2011 was a shite year.
now, i use it to deter guys who i’m not interested in #lol, and it is #excellent for weeding out undesirables.
I haven’t even finished reading it. My chest is all tight. The Hairpin posted a piece by someone who has HSV1 genitally. The first part is about Having The Talk.
Edit: Finished reading. Take away quote?
Telling people about it still isn’t easy or fun, but it’s my own magic Hogwarts-esque sorting hat. If a guy freaks out, he’s not meant to be in my house.
Or I in his.
Holy cow. This is a wonderful article, and it’s heartening if you feel the need to disclose anything (even if it’s not STD related) to someone before engaging in a relationship!
there are so many roundabout ways people ask this shit. especially if you appear to be in any way sexual. and even when i was a teen virgin who’d never kissed a boy i had men grilling me about it.
-“so….how many people have you been involved w….REALLY?”
-“so….you seem to enjoy yourself too much. are you sure you havent been w alot more people than you say?”
-“so….i dont understand how you can like sex but….NOT fuck everyone. how does that work?”
-“but why do you want alot of sex? does that mean you want to have group sex too?”
(oh so you think im lying? so you think women can only like sex if they fuck anything that walks? oh, so having a high libido means i must have orgies every day? this is news to me! so i cant have standards if i like sex?)
you always end up feeling you have to separate yourself from “whores” and *prove* yourself to be a worthy “good girl”. i refuse.
if you try to “qualify” me as if my worth is in any way up for debate, goodbye.
(im not a fucking saint. but i am a fucking saint compared to alot of people. and i am also the fucking devil compared to others. i am motherfucking ME)
in all of this, your entire worth is riding on one single thing: what you do w your pussy. it doesnt matter wtf you are as a person.
and all of these inquires come from men who are never held accountable for what they do w their body. and they never once see any fucking irony or hypocrisy in it.
womens sexuality just makes people squirm. they cannot handle it.
i havent come across a man who can fucking handle that…or mine.
This song fits the theme of this week’s episode of HH4L Radio, on slut shaming. It’s safe to say that the conversation is ongoing in our day to day lives, and hopefully with our Lovers as well!
i will forever love this song.
(it’s so weird to live in a world where salt is like not about the legacy of her work. i remember her on pepa’s show being super born-again christian lady and i was all the sadness)
as an outsider i always thought music during sex was like one of those……i dunno…romantic things you do. or one of those things you do to drown out noise LOL (or a bit of both?)
but what can i say. ive never been treated in a romantic way. and now i find men tell me im not romantic…
